Life as we know it

Balance

2010-07-15T13:11:00.000-07:00

Life comes in spurts. There are periods of being busy. Times when you feel like you can barely breathe because of the speed at which life is coming at you. Months where you look at the calendar and every weekend between May and September has a name to it.

And then there are moments and time of monotony. When you wonder what you are going to do for the rest of the day or tomorrow. A time when you feel as though you haven't done a whole lot of meaningful things and you need to make some goals so that each day has purpose.

I am happiest when I am balanced. A balance of time that is purposeful and planned out so that I know that I am doing things for other people and enough time where there is nothing planned so that I can stay at home with the kids and paint pictures or read books or drop everything and go to the lake for the day. Balance is good.

I have recently realized that I have over-committed myself. I have missed a lot of important things the past month. But the reason why I missed out on these things was because I was too busy. I needed less in my life and I couldn't be Supermom and make it to everything so something had to give. I hate this part of humanity, because in my heart all these little things are very important to me and I want to be there for everyone, but I am reminded once again that I am just one person. And on top of that I am one person that is the caretaker of 2 other little people and the manager of the family schedule in many ways. It's hard to keep 4 people's schedule straight sometimes.

So after having experienced this, I have come to the realization again that I am human, not Supermom, and I am only one person and I can only be in one place at a time. And I need to slow down. I need some more nothing so that I can be prepared for a time of purpose. So I recently said no to something even though I wanted to do it. It was hard for me to not commit to it. I am ashamed in some ways because I know I could have pushed through and accomplished that one other thing, but at the same time, if I say yes, that means I'm saying no to something else. So I have to say no. And it's ok. And I will be glad later. And my life will have even more balance and more purpose. And I can be an even better Supermom by keeping my life and the lives of my 2 kids in order and balance. This is a difficult and important lesson for me to learn, but at least I am starting to learn instead of making the same mistake over and over.

Here is to learning the art of balance in life.

2010-04-17T10:42:00.000-07:00

Yesterday it was warm all day. The windows in our apartment were propped open all day and the warm sunshine shone through followed by a cool breeze. Liam told me the other day, "Mom, the sun is like a big magic heater." Indeed it is. Somehow God put it in the sky and it gives us warmth, light, and pleasure. So we pulled on our tennis shoes and ran to the store. It was invigorating. Lovely. Refreshing. Filling our lungs with air, warming our bodies, sweat pouring down...this makes me feel very alive. As we ran back, the air changed. The gray clouds had moved in overhead and moisture was in the air. But it was still warm. The rain was moving in, on the verge of arriving. We made it home in time to escape the rain, but it to was a beautiful thing to experience. A warm afternoon changing to a warm light rain. Beauty is all around us. The sensation and the experience of a change in weather is mysterious and beautiful. I am thankful for the sun and the rain. Thank you God for your mysterious wonders that I can see, feel, hear, and smell.

Here I go again...

2010-04-14T16:27:00.000-07:00

Today began like any other day. Wake up to the sound of little people. Little people wanting their food. "Mhoat meo" (oatmeal), repeated over and over again. "I want my food," I hear. "I want the 'sticks' cereal." I don't know why a 4 year old kid would ever WANT to eat All-bran for breakfast, but that is his request today. "Are you sure?" I ask just to make sure and I am not a big fan of wasting food. Especially now that we are sticking to a strict Dave Ramsey budget. Yes he's sure and he's been warned that he doesn't get anything else until he eats it. I make my coffee while getting breakfast ready and pour my own bowl of cereal. This is how I start my day. Every day. And then after we all eat breakfast I pour myself several cups of coffee and stare at my kids while they play or beg me to let them watch cartoons. I always tell them, "no, it's too early." I don't like the TV on this early in the morning. In fact, I don't know why I have such an aversion to technology, but the Lord has given me a strong dislike for all technology in general for kids. I feel like a purist because I want my kids to imagine, to dream, to pretend, to create with their own brains. I don't want technology numbing them to what their own minds are capable of. I hope I don't mess them up in the midst of all my tech "NO" philosophy on parenting. So there I am staring at my kids playing, staring at the trees out my window, thinking about what I have to do today, this week. And I ponder what the point of it all is. Surely there has got to be some special reason why I get out of bed every day to this and go through it all over and over again. Every day. And so that is why I am here writing this right now. Because I do believe there is more than just my routine to life. Sometimes it is hard to see beyond the here and now of what the point of it all is, but I know there is one. And so I write this today because I am changing the forum of this blog. I used to just use it as a means to share pictures and to moan and whine if I was feeling bad about something. But no more. Be gone with the venting. Here I come to share why I get out of bed every day. Surely something will stick out every day that gives a day purpose. Even if the only purpose was to get out of bed and drink my coffee. Let's be honest. Some days are like that. But I believe that if you start looking for what is significant in life, you will see it. I know God has a purpose for me. And I think it is bigger than my small imagination can wrap my brain around, but I am ready to look for it. I believe it comes in seemingly insignificant normal forms and we either embrace it or it passes by us. So here's to looking and watching.

Going Public

2010-02-18T10:07:00.000-08:00

I know that education can be a very personal decision. Often people have many different opinions about where to educate their children...what to teach them or what not to teach them. Things get personal quickly when you consider all the things that are out there for one to be able to learn. Our decision about where to educate our son has not come easily. I grew up in a small public school where test scores were high and the classroom size was always less than 20 students in any given class. It was a pretty ideal setting and the community was very involved. My last three years of Highschool were spent at home. My husband attended public school the majority of his life and spent his last few years of Highschool in a private education setting. Perhaps if money weren't an issue I would be sending my son to a private Christian school where he would learn mostly all of the things that we value as a people. But, as I have been thinking and reflecting lately about my walk of faith and the things I value and believe, I have come to the conclusion that we are to be in the world and not of the world. I value being a part of a community. In a lot of ways, I think I have done such a good job being a part of our community of faith that I have failed to be a part of our community at large. So as I think about education, I think it is wonderful and beautiful that we as a country provide education to so many. I think it's fabulous that we have freedoms to choose if we want to participate in a public education, a private education, or an education at home. This is unique that there are so many freedoms that we can choose even as far as an education goes. And concerning a public education, I am so glad that all the little kids who live in our low-income housing, will also be able to participate in an education. In any other day and age, perhaps our family, and other families at our socioeconomic level, would not be so privileged to be able to receive an education. If it were left up to each family to provide an education, I know that those same families that live near us would not educate their children and just think of where our country would be then? So as I reflect on our freedoms and our privileges of living in this country where education is provided to everyone regardless of income or race or gender, we as a family have made the choice to go public. And I make that choice with peace of mind and spirit. I look forward to our son participating with other children in our community on the great adventure of learning. I look forward to participating with him. And I hope that I will get to know our community at large a bit better in the process.

Unplugged

2010-01-31T23:13:00.000-08:00

I think I am on technology overload. I tend to be a little bit Walden Pondish...not that I really want to go live in a cabin on a lake and eat plants from the forest, but I don't like technology. I am strongly opposed to video games, tv, etc. But at the same time I always get sucked into it and find these things consuming much of my precious time not to mention adding to my lack of movement. They are not evil things in and of themselves and they can be used for good, but so often I just overindulge and find myself wishing for less of them. I may be feeling this way because of the bad habits I have been forming lately. Not only have I been immersing myself in facebook, but I'll have the internet and laptop going while I watch TV any time in the evening after my kids go to bed. I get caught up on random internet searches or little facebook games and before you know it I have wasted so much time. Tonight I turned the TV off just to listen to..well nothing since I am the only one up still. And it feels nice. I feel a certain sense of peace and calm having removed the noises and all the entertainment. Here's to unplugging a little more often.

Overcoming my American dream

2010-01-13T11:22:00.000-08:00

Perhaps it is a good time to write about my dreams in lieu of the upcoming holiday. A time to reflect on someone who had a dream that was greater than himself, a dream that would help to shape and change an entire nation. It was not my intention to write about this particular person, although he deserves much remembrance and honor for his part in changing and impacting mankind.

I am writing this more as a confession. A time to own up to the fact that my own personal dreams being failures. The fact that I have been viewing myself and my life through the world's eyes. And all I have to show for it is failure. Discouragement. Embarassment. Discontenment. Pride. Selfishness. Struggle.

The American dream to own a home, make money, raise your family better than you were raised, give them more, to be thinner and have no stretchmarks. To have a career. I have wanted this. My heart has yearned for these things, and yet I have not succeeded. I have pursued and wished for and wanted this American dream. And in all my hopes, efforts, and wishes I have failed at this American dream. I have seen myself fail.

It is a struggle to give up on the thing that you so greatly desire. But perhaps it is necessary in hopes of gaining something greater. I want to be content. I want to be selfless. I want to not desire these things so greatly. I want instead to appeal for the applause of heaven. To not be measured by my own worldly standard, but to view myself in God's vision. To have confidence that he is proud of me just now. Without changing. Without keeping a cleaner home. Without being successful in the workplace. Without more money. Without a home of my own. With all my stretchmarks and extra rolls of fat. Me, just as I am. And I know He is pleased with me but I am not pleased with me. I want to give up on my own American dream to re-embrace a dream of hope and of unconditional love. And this doesn't come easily. But I deeply desire to embrace His love and to be completely fulfilled by the hope I have in Him. And I want to give up my attitude of failure in this world. I want to forgive myself. I want to move on. There is no saying that these things won't ever happen for me. Some of them will. Some may not. But what I want to overcome is my attitude. I want to live wanting nothing else than to be near Him, to feel His presence in my life, and to believe that He is looking down on me with complete adoration. I believe that this is the God I serve. I believe, help me with my unbelief, my cynicism, my realism.

I have a dream.

My new hobby

2009-11-01T21:41:00.000-08:00

I have found a new love in life. I guess everyone has their hobbies, some people scrapbook, bake, knit, sew, decorate, etc. I have little to no interest in these types of hobbies. Maybe it's because I don't have time for them. Who knows? But one thing I have grown to have a deep appreciation for is running. I like to run. I don't know what it is about it. I like the challenge. I like the struggle between my mind and body that happens every single time I head out the door. I like overcoming something that was hard for me in the past and I like meeting new goals. I am not fast but I wouldn't say that I'm unbearably slow either. I just like the challenge of it, the struggle, and the victory. I count every time I get out the door and go as a victory. Sometimes I still walk because I don't have it in me to keep running, but even that is victory because it's better than staying at home doing nothing. I love the satisfaction of coming back from a run and being done for the day.

I ran my first 10K recently. I am proud of myself. I wasn't fast, but I pressed on and kept running. And I crossed the finish line and it felt good.

Some things I have learned about running from this past race:

1. Use the facilities before the race starts
2. Don't slack off on your training
3. Get a babysitter so you don't have to push the kids in the stroller
4. Keep it light and keep it fun, sing a song while you run

Autumn colors

2009-10-18T22:08:00.000-07:00

One of fall's redeeming qualities.

A Raspberry

2009-08-10T10:28:00.001-07:00

The other day I took my son and daughter to the farmer's market for fun and to buy some fresh produce. It was so fun for them to buy carrots and onions with the stem still attached. And I just feel so healthy by walking through the rows and rows of God's beautiful creation all made for our pleasure and nourishment. My son has a fancy for eating fresh berries - pretty much any berry there is out there he loves to eat. We were looking for blackberries, but bought some raspberries by default which turned out to be an excellent mistake. He reached out and pretty much man-handled the entire pint of berries with his hands, so I had to buy them. I have never been so happy with an accidental purchase. Those raspberries took me back in time the moment I sank my teeth into them. There is something about the sweet tanginess of a raspberry that took me back to my grandparents house on the farm. My Grandpa used to eat a bowl of fresh raspberries with sugar on it. My grandma had many different kinds of fresh berries that she grew at her house and my cousins and I spent many a summer day consuming all of her precious potential jam. I love tastes and smells like this that just take you back to wonderful memories. And I love how they escape your mind until you taste or smell that thing that takes you back to such a distinct memory. The brain is such an interesting thing with all of its nooks and crannies of memories and they pop up at just the right moment. I am so intrigued by our design and what a great Maker we have.

Happy Birthday Baby Girl!

2009-06-21T22:08:00.001-07:00

Our sweet River is one year old today! She is such a joy. River, you bring life to where you are with your cute toothy grins, your waves of greeting, your roly poly legs, the sound of your little voice and your sweet sweet personality. We love you so much and it has been such a privilege to watch you grow.

4 years old

2009-06-12T11:29:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Liam! I love you!

Show me the money

2009-06-12T11:10:00.001-07:00

Do you ever feel like you just keep getting older, yet you never grow up. I have felt this way financially for a long time now. I don't mean to boast or anything, but I do think that we have been blessed with the gift of living simply and being thrifty. I don't think we do half bad living off of a youth minister's salary. I would dare to say that not many people could live the way we do. It's always tight, yet we have still been able to maintain a high quality of life. I often feel blessed and like we are living the good life. But in a lot of ways, even though we have done alright for the past 7 years of marriage, it hasn't really been until the past 3 months that I feel like we have made the choice to grow up financially. We have been sort-of following a budget the past 2 years of pay off our debt and living by the concept of don't spend more than you have. But the past 3 months we have really started to grow up and stick to a strict budget. The best part about this budget is that it is amazing how much money you can find when you know where it is all going. I am amazed that we went on vacation last month and paid cash for everything. Dave Ramsey (our financial guy) says that the best vacation is the one that doesn't follow you home. And now having experienced this myself, I would have to agree. In the past, Visa would have picked up the slack for us on a vacation and we would have spent several months paying it back off. It is nice to know that we had such a great time and we came home and we know there's still money left to eat for the rest of the month. So I am not here to just brag about it, but it feels pretty darn good for us to feel like we know where we are spending our money and knowing that we have extra money set aside to pay for things when they come up, etc. The other thing about a budget is that I have been very hesitant to really live by a budget because I am a free-spirited person and a rule-breaker. I do not like feeling restrained or limited or restricted by anything. I was so apprehensive to actually commit to this because I thought it would take my freedom away. The good news is that since having a budget, Jeb and I both feel even more free to do what we want because there is actually money to do it with. If we want to take a trip, we save for it and do it. If we want to go on a date and go to the movies, we have money set aside to do it. If an emergency comes up, we have money set aside to take care of the problem. So for the first time in a long time I really do feel a lot of peace about this area of my life and I feel more free than I have in such a long time. It isn't always easy, but it sure is worth it!

My babies

2009-04-26T21:43:00.000-07:00

My son is not a baby any more. He is totally growing up. I have to say I love his sweet boy personality and he keeps things fun and laid back. He is getting more and more independent. I also love that he is living up to his name. Liam comes from William for those of you who don't know and means, "will, desire and helmet, protection, determined guardian, etc". This guy is so considerate of others and goes to great lengths to keep his little sister safe. I am so proud of his gentle yet unwavering qualities.

Anytime you look for Liam you will find him intently playing with some sort of vehicle. It could be a car, plane, train, or X-wing in this case. The other morning we woke up and a few minutes later heard him wake up and started talking with his cars. He is such a fun person. In fact, tonight he got out every single blanket and laid them all flat and spread out on the floor and built a blanket-fort bed. He basically draped a big blanket over the chair and ottoman and made a little bed underneath. He asked if he could sleep there and sure enough he is fast asleep while I type.

River is growing teeth right now. She has the cutest little gap in her top teeth that makes me giggle inside whenver I see her toothy grin. I love her rosy cheeks. Sometimes they are so rosy it looks like she has been busy smearing jelly on them and we never wipe it off. This girl is also living up to her name, she is a river of life and brings so much joy to so many people. She is really into dancing lately and will do a jig (which looks more like rocking back and forth) if you sing her a song or she hears a song on the radio. She is getting so confident in her abilities and can say some words that may seem unrecognizeable to the untrained ear, but her dad and I understand. It is really fun to watch this girl grow.

Inspiring People

2009-04-25T17:24:00.001-07:00

I wouldn't necessarily call myself a sports enthusiast. I don't like to watch NFL or NBA, I do like baseball, but on some late nights you will find me flipping through the channels of our TV to watch NBC Universal Sports. The programs I find particular interest in are the long-distance races and iron man races. Good grief, the amount of stamina a person has to have to run that fast for such a long period of time. It kills my insides just thinking about it. I recently was watching the 2009 Boston Marathon. This was a truly amazing race. What really drew me in was that there was a girl from Portland, OR running. Apparently, there has not been an American woman in the top 3 finishers of the Boston Marathon since 1993. Ever since then the Kenyans and Ethiopans have dominated with their running abilities. But this girl, Kara Goucher, from Portland, OR stayed at the front of the pack the entire time. I am amazed that there are women out there who can run less than a 6 minute mile pace for 26 miles. At the end of the race in the final miles these girls even kicked it up. She ran fast and hard and finished third, the first American woman to place in the top 3 since 1993! I am inspired by athletes like this. I like to run. I am not fast and I don't plan on running any marathons. But my inspiration this week comes from this girl from Portland, OR who is a total stud....who when I googled her I found out is older than me! It gives me hope, I've still got time to get in shape and start running!

Susan Boyle, You Go Girl!

2009-04-25T14:43:00.000-07:00

My wonderful husband showed me this video and it is fabulous! It goes to show that things often are not what they first seem and it is inspiring to see someone who is not afraid to just put themself out there. Maybe you've already seen it, maybe not, but I hope you enjoy it as much as I did!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

Catching up

2009-04-12T17:40:00.000-07:00

Lately it seems so easy for weeks or months to go by before posting anything. I guess it's best to just start somewhere. So here we go...

In January I celebrated my 30th Birthday! I have been looking forward to this with excitement and enthusiasm. My life is good for being 30. I have many things to be thankful for. I love the Lord, I have a fabulous husband who gently and humbly leads our family and loves me, I have two beautiful healthy children, I have a college education, I have good health, I have a loving family, I have many friends, and I have so much more. What more could a person want when they turn 30? I am so thoroughly and sincerely happy. God has been good to me.

I took a trip to New York with some friends for my friend, Beth's 40th Birthday recently! And that was without the children. I had been anxious for month's about leaving my 9 month old nursing daughter for 4 days with daddy. I was anxious that things would still be ok if I was gone from the family. The great news is that everyone did fine! I had a wonderful time seeing as much of New York that you could possibly see in 4 days! But this trip deserves a post all of its own, so I will write more another time.

On my drive home from the airport, I got the news that my Grandpa Ray passed away. It was a strange feeling to be coming home from such an exciting trip and reuniting with my family to receive such sad news. Maybe that's why it really didn't hit me until I drove into Trout Lake and realized that there will be no more visits to Grandpa's house when I visit. And while you always count on your grandparents dying at some point because they are old and none of us will live forever, this still came as a shock. My Grandpa was in great health for his age, but a tree fell on his house and they say he died of a heart attack. I will miss many things about him, the gleam in his eye, the contagious laugh, the teasing and the visits. I am so glad that he was able to live a long and full life.

The last bit of news I share with joy. Jeb and I have been working so hard since July of 2007 on paying off my student loans. The great news is that this past week I made my last and final payment on my loan!!! It took 22 months for us to pay off the last $17,000. But we are done! We achieved this goal and it deserves to be celebrated! It was a lot of hard work and we finally made it! It gives me a lot of satisfaction to achieve a goal! Now we are so close to being debt free all thanks to Dave Ramsey and his plans!

Too many thoughts, too little time

2009-03-01T21:40:00.000-08:00

It has been a long time. Usually when a long time goes by before blogging it means that real life has been happening. That has been the case here. I haven't been super busy or doing anything fancy, but life has been full and good. There are a lot of things to say and thoughts to share, but I am not committed to writing a long and thoughtful post at this time because I want to just relax tonight and maybe watch the rest of Planet Earth. So I shall just share a few random thoughts of what has been happening lately.

I no longer work for our apartments. By choice of course. Last Saturday at 5 pm I left the office never to return as an employee ever again. I am thrilled to spend Saturdays with my family now. So for my first employment-free Saturday (yesterday) I joined my hubby and several families from church for a trip to the mountains. It was awesome and refreshing and fun. Everyone was tubing...including my scaredy-cat son who apparently is so scaredy-cat anymore! He loved it! River and I watched while everyone else tubed. It was so fun to be in the snow and it made me reflect on how I would really love to go snowboarding or skiing. I have never been skiing...downhill that is, I have been Cross Country skiing with my friend Alice and that was hilarious! I kept falling down and we laughed our buns off. Alice is a way athletic friend who in the past few years has ran marathons...and finished 4th in her first iron-man race. she is pretty much a stud. In fact, thinking about it I could tell a million hilarious stories about her. So maybe I will just save those for a post of their own.

River is so inspiring to me. It amazes me over and over again her determination to learn a skill and her perseverance to get to what she wants. She is crawling and pulling up on things now and I am inspired by her because several times a day, she pulls herself up and then falls down and hits her head, or slips and falls, etc. But when she falls, it never discourages her from her goal. She might take a minute to cry because she is hurt, but she moves on quickly and strives for whatever her goal is immediately. I just wish I could remember being that driven and ambitious. I wish I had that kind of perseverance in my faith where you just jump right back up and keep goign towards the goal. I am learning so much by watching her explore her world! She really inspires me to watch her work so hard for what she wants.

College was awesome. Right now we have several Seniors who are making plans and thinking about college, where they are going and what they are doing and it just reminds me over and over again how much i loved my college experience. Some of my best memories are from college. Some of my best best friends I met at college. My passion for learning and life blossomed in college. I fell in love with learning there. Most importantly, my faith became my own in college. I fell more in love with my Savior and figured out what I think that should look like in my life. But now reflecting on college, my heart is a little broken that my alma mater will be closing its doors at the end of this school year. That place is irreplaceable. I wish there were an alternative, but the harsh reality is that this has been coming for 15 years. But for some reason God made Cascade College possible for 15 wonderful years. For that I will always be grateful. And I am so glad that I was able to be a part of it. The rest of you suckers don't know what you'll be missing out on! :) Tbirds for life!

I have many more things to write, but I'm going to sign off for now. I want to talk to my hubby. Stay tuned for more random thoughts and photos of our kiddos.

2009-01-13T17:32:00.001-08:00

We kicked off the holiday season with a stroll down Snowflake Lane. It is a place where every night, live toy soldiers come out and drum lining the streets of Bellevue Way. It is really cool. They play all sorts of Christmas music and they have characters dressed up as Rudolph, Frosty, Snow Queens, etc. Here is Liam and Jeb with a toy soldier on stilts. They pass out candy for the performance. Then for the finale they blow bubbles from the top of the buildings so that it "snows" every night. It was really fun and we were able to go twice this year. I would have taken pictures of River, but she slept in the stroller through both times we were there. Liam was afraid of the characters, he commented afterwards both times that he wished they would just dress up like people.
Speaking of snow, we were given a generous share of snow the week before Christmas. This was our first snow day where we went for a walk to a nearby restaurant. It is so quiet here when it snows. Everyone slows down and stays in. We had a great time staying home during a time when usually we are running errands frantically looking for the perfect gift. This year we just enjoyed sitting in our nice warm apartment with the glow of the Christmas lights going. Liam helped me make cookies and we ate a lot of family dinners at home. And Liam has really grown up from years past regarding snow. He discovered how much he loves it. We built a snow man, had snow ball fights, and we finally had to have him come in because his hands had turned to ice.
Here is our girl all bundled up for her walk in the snow. Don't you just want to reach out and squeeze her cheeks.

And during the snow, it was also a milestone event. Here is River before her last meal of exclusively drinking milk. It amazes me still that she has grown from a brand new 7 lb 5 oz, 19.25" girl to this....20 lbs and 27 " all on the food that God gave me to give to her. It is a pretty amazing thing that He made and so good for her to! Aren't they all so sweet!

This is our latest. Jeb had an all-nighter for the teens this past weekend and they kicked off the weekend with ice skating in downtown Bellevue. It used to be under a tent, but when all the snow came, the tent collapsed and so now it is so beautiful. You can skate with the white Christmas lights on the trees around you and the downtown skyline right behind you. Simply beautiful and fun. I didn't skate, but the kids and I bundled up to watch Jeb skate. Please excuse me for a moment where I have to boast in Jeb's ice-skating abilities. He is really agile on the ice...I guess all those years of roller blading as a kid have paid off! He makes it look so easy. I wish I could skate even half as good as he does! This photo does not do any justice to how pretty and magical it all was. This photo is facing the ice rink with the city behind in it. Such a fun time!

Gifts

2008-11-14T14:35:00.000-08:00

In light of some recent events that have taken place, I am convinced more than ever that each day is a gift. Treat it as such. I sometimes have abused months worth of gifts...wishing days away while I aimlessly browse the internet and wish away moments that once passed are gone forever. So for this upcoming Thanksgiving, I am thankful for every day because every day spent with those you love is a true gift to be treasured. I hope to truly live my life like someone that is thankful.

Historic Moments

2008-11-06T14:01:00.000-08:00

I had my own personal historic moment last night. For the first time in at least an entire year I slept straight through the night. No midnight feedings. No interruptions. Oh the bliss of a full night's sleep. I feel like a million dollars!

Happy Costume Day

2008-11-01T19:21:00.000-07:00

So it was another Halloween last night. And as I sit here typing I am soooo glad that it was last night and not tonight because we would have been wet. Last night was Liam's first real trick or treating experience. We usually have just been doing church stuff on Halloween, but this year we had nothing going on so we took the kids out trick-or-treating. Liam has been very opposed to wearing costumes lately and if you remember from the Halloween photos that I put on here last year, he's been crying his little eyes out every time I try to put something on him. So I had to get creative and think of something that was just like wearing normal clothes. So he went as a campaigner or politician or what have you. We even made his little Vote 08 sign out of a thomas the tank engine track and a priority mail envelope (that doubled as a candy-holder). He looked sharp in his suit and he was so darn cute every time when someone answered their door he would proudly say "trick or treating". We kept trying to get him to just say trick or treat, but he always added the "ing". And River was a beautiful little ballerina for her first Halloween. She was adoreable and kept trying to suck on the tutu. And here we are, your all-American family going out for trick or treating. It was a fun night had by all. Thank God it only happens once a year!

Vote People!

2008-10-23T16:47:00.000-07:00

I sometimes forget to send in my ballot during local elections. I am quite ashamed of it actually. I really feel like it is a privilege and an honor to be able to vote. Many people over the course of history have fought and died for their right to vote. To think that it was only several hundred of years ago that we declared our indendence is somewhat baffling. We formed this country and with it a government that is for the people and by the people. That in itself should be enough incentive to make sure you vote. Consider the fact that blacks have only been able to vote in US elections since 1865. And fellow girlfriends, you better make sure you participate because you have only had the right to vote in all US elections since 1920, a mere 88 years. Does your vote matter? Yes. Get out there, become informed, and make the choice to vote people! It's an honor as a US citizen...do it for all the people who fought so hard to earn you that vote!

Where's River?

2008-10-05T22:30:00.001-07:00

My favs

2008-10-05T21:26:00.000-07:00

Without any hesitation summer is the best time of year in the Pacific Northwest in my opinion. Waiting for summer is kind of like a kid waiting for Christmas, at least for me. Waiting all year through fall, winter, and spring and rain and cold and rain and sometimes snow and more rain for all that to pay off in the summer when you get to enjoy the heat of sunshine amidst a beautiful backdrop of greenery. I don't think that I would appreciate summer nearly as much if I lived in a place where it was like summer all year long. But this year I have come to realize that I have a favorite month. Other months just can not compare to September. There is still the summer heat and beautiful sunsets AND you can enjoy peace and tranquility at the park while all other children have gone back to school. It is like the best of all worlds. We have been going to the beach almost every day since it has been warm enough and as soon as school ends in June, the beaches around here are swarming with children and boys and girls clubs...busses full of boys and girls club with matching colored t-shirts. And then September rolled around and it was just Liam and River and I and practically an entire beach to ourselves. Those are the days. And then you blink and September is gone. I miss you sweet September.

Every year when Liam and I go to the beach, our experience has changed. During his first summer, he would just sleep in his stroller. Then he would maybe wake up and we would take him in the lake and then he would sleep more. Last year he was afraid to walk on the sand without shoes and he was terrified of the water. The only water I could get him in was mudpuddles that I made for him. And this year, he has grown to be so independent. He walks barefoot on the sand. He is not afraid of the water. And he can dig his own hole and fill it with water all on his own. And he has been such a good friend to all the kids he has met on the beach. He makes up all sorts of fun little games to play at the beach to. Most of his games involve either cars racing or burying cars and finding them or driving them in the mudpuddles. It was a fun summer at the beach.River liked the beach too. She thought it was fun to be outside and she just stares at the trees. She's not to fond of the water, but by the end of the summer she liked to wiggle her feet and splash in it. And she took some awesome naps in the great outdoors.

So I used to complain a lot about fall and winter and all the darkness and wet dreariness and get all sad and depressed and tell Jeb how much I miss summer about this time of year, but now that I'm supposed to be a grown-up I'm trying super hard to appreciate all seasons for what they are. My favorite thing about fall is to go out for a walk and step on the crunchy leaves and pinecones. I just like the sound that it makes when they crinkle under your feet. And I love it right before the leaves fall. It's just a few weeks away and all the trees outside our window are going to be a flaming red and orange colors. Yay for fall...it might not be as great as summer, but it's going to be here soon so I might as well greet it with open arms. Happy Fall people.

Liver!

2008-10-05T21:05:00.000-07:00

Recently when I was hurriedly saying my children's names, out of my mouth came "Liver!" How come I didn't think of this before hand? At least it will be easier to call them both at the same time this way. It just will sound a little strange on the playground for a mom to be shouting about meat. I sure love my liver!

2008-08-28T14:51:00.000-07:00

Time sure does fly. A lot has happened these past couple of months. River has grown to a whopping 14 lb chubby girl! She is darn cute with all the little rolls under her chin, in her arms and her legs. Liam has mastered the skill of going potty in the toilet and now exclusively wears big boy underwear even at night and can go standing up with relatively good aim. (It gets a little messy though when he is distracted). Jeb spent nearly two weeks in Ecuador for mission trip and has had a summer full of youth activities. And as for me, I feel like I just wake up every day and see what is going to happen. My life revolves around my side-kick, little River. We are pretty much best buds since I am her most fav person on the planet right now. Since it has been a full two months and because my sister keeps on asking for pictures, I think that's about all I have to say. Enjoy the pics that are all about a week-by-week update of our girl. You can see how much she's been growing!

Here are just some fun pics of what Liam has been up to:

With cousins Eleesha and Jayden. They are praying.

JumpingDiggingPlaying with cousin JacksonFirst train ride (that he can remember). He is a HUGE fan of trains.
Of couse hanging with sissy.Playing with Maddie and LandonClimbing all over dad. He loves to jump and climb on Jeb!

She's Here!

2008-06-27T08:54:00.000-07:00

With joy we introduce the newest member of our family

A Baby Girl

River Elizabeth Bristow-Hanna

Born June 21, 2008 at 10:15 am

7 lbs 5 oz

19 1/4 inches long

Big Brother Liam loves his sister

Mom and Dad are doing well and feel very blessed

Guess away!!!

2008-06-19T21:54:00.000-07:00

Per Gina's suggestion, I do think we should have a bet to see who can be the closest to when this child will come. I love guessing things, so hopefully you will to. For your information, Liam was due June 15 and was born June 9 at 1:15 pm. So, let the betting begin...let's hear your best guess at if you think it will be a boy or girl and when they will arrive (due date is 4th of July).

The Waiting Is the Hardest Part

2008-06-19T21:29:00.000-07:00

I remember distinctly on November 2 telling Jeb that I was pretty certain we were having another baby. We had gone to PF Chang's for dinner and a table opened up for us despite the fact that everyone else was going to have a 2 hour wait. We got in quickly and everything was perfect! Well, now it's our turn to wait. It's almost hard to believe that it is nearing the end of June and that our baby is due in 2 weeks. He/she could come tomorrow or a month from now. It's a pretty exciting time in our life although it just doesn't seem possible that the time is already here. Here is to some patience. And here's a most recent photo of my ever-growing self. I was telling Jeb today that I am a little unaware of the size of my midsection because I keep bumping into things with it.

Happy Birthday Liam!

2008-06-09T16:19:00.001-07:00

Liam three years ago
Liam today

I distinctly remember where I was and what I was doing three years ago last week. Jeb and I had stayed up all night long and had not even a wink of sleep. It was painful. It was dramatic. But the end result was so perfect and beautiful. Liam was born. Last week was Liam's third birthday. It is strange to think that it has already been three years with this sweet boy, but it has. Every day is a new day to learn more about him and his personality. Liam has a very sweet and easy going personality, a lot like his dad I think. The majority of the time he is pretty quiet and doesn't say a lot unless he is really wound up or he is really passionate about something. He has really grown to be independent lately too. He can change his own diaper. He can dress himself. He likes to fasten and unfasten his own car seat. Around our house it is not unlikely to find him playing in his room by himself or simply doing his own thing. And while he does have a very secure nature about him, he is also so sweet and loving. He is a great cuddler and likes to be snuggled to sleep, he likes to sit on our laps and read books and he likes to be carried and lay his little head on our shoulder. Some things that I have enjoyed watching him grow and learn and do over the past few months have been to watch his imagination truly come to life. He likes to take all of his cars and they talk to each other, he tells them to go to time out, he puts them down for naps, and the cars "play" together. It is a pretty funny sight to see. Liam likes to do crafts and arts. He loves to paint and color. He is really good at using scissors and he likes to tape things. He is also getting really good at building things with legos all by himself. He can build towers and fences and buildings. I appreciate that Liam likes to help a lot. If we ask him for help, he is very willing whether that means to carry his things to the car, throwing things in the garbage, cleaning up his toys, or helping mom cook in the kitchen. I must say that Liam is extremely helpful in the kitchen, his specialties include, but are not limited to stirring, pouring things, and salad spinning. I have never met such an eager salad spinner in my life! Liam is a good singer. He can sing so many different songs and my favorite ones to hear are all of his songs from Sunday School. And my favorite moments of him singing are when he is oblivious to anyone listening to him. I have enjoyed every moment of watching him grow from a new baby to a little boy. His day is special to me because it reminds me of the birth of my son, the gift of life, and it was also the day that I became a mom. Thank you Liam, you are a real gift. I look forward to watching you grow.

Helping

Blowing out the candles

Young Life

2008-05-21T18:03:00.000-07:00

Our baby at 33 weeks

Being pregnant definitely has its ups and downs. There's the sickness, the aches and pains, the stretchmarks, the swollen feet, the sleepless nights, the uncomfortable feeling that just doesn't go away, and the list could grow longer and longer. There are also the perks...everyone jumping to help you or give you special treatment, the baby kicking and moving, the mystery of growing another human being inside of your body. The outcome is very promising, to bring new life into the world. It is an amazing and humbling and honoring process. I am honored to be this child's mother and I look forward to meeting them even though a part of me already knows them. I leave you with this verse that meant so much to me after Liam was born:

"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." Psalm 139:13-14

Happy Anniversary To Us!

2008-05-18T16:34:00.000-07:00

May 18, 2002

May 18,2008

It is so good to have a companion in life. I'm so glad that you picked me Jeb! Life has been full the past six years. And I would not trade going through any of it with anyone else but you. The good and the bad...it is all so much sweeter with someone to help you through it all. Thank you for making me laugh. Thank you for leading our family. Thank you for being a good father. Thank you for being a compassionate husband. Thank you most for being a godly man. I love you, your personality, your humor, your looks, your humble heart, your faith...I love it all. I just want you to know how much you mean to me today.

Fun Pics

2008-04-14T18:01:00.000-07:00

Before Easter, we colored eggs. Liam is Mr. crafty. Anything having to do with coloring or cutting or gluing or any sort of thing is totally fun. Here are his Easter creations.Yummy Easter candy. But to be honest, he really doesn't love candy. He loves gum. We (Jeb and I) have basically eaten all of his candy because he only wants to chew gum. Even today we went somewhere for ice cream and he turned it down. He did not want any. What is the matter with our kid? Don't all kids want ice cream?

This picture was actually taken 3 weeks ago at 25 weeks gestation. I am now in my 28th week and working on the third trimester. Baby is healthy and I am healthy and the family as a whole is doing good.

Maternity Clothes and Sex (As in a baby boy or girl)

2008-03-07T21:53:00.000-08:00

I love maternity clothes. It's not that I like getting bigger and rounder, but the fact that I feel like I have a whole new wardrobe of clothes to pick from every morning is super fun. With both pregnancies I have had someone loan me all of their maternity clothes in addition to my own maternity clothes which makes it doubly fun to get dressed every morning...almost like college when I had 3 different people's clothes to choose from every morning! Every day is a new day with a new outfit to wear! So much fun.

Early this week we went in for our very anticipated ultrasound to find out the sex of our child. And wouldn't you guess, they had their legs pinned together the entire time with the umbilical cord between the legs. The technician even had me leave and go get lunch and come back after an hour and our darling boy or girl still had their legs stuck together. But they are healthy, they have two legs and two arms, 4 working chambers of the heart, etc. It was a success, but we're going to be surprised at the birth. I am glad that God has given us this surprise, because I never could have waited to find out if He hadn't hidden it from us. I like surprises, but they also drive me crazy. This will be a good one!

Samoas and other stuff

2008-02-26T19:05:00.000-08:00

I realize that my blog is constantly only talking about food or baby...they are possibly of my two favorite things. Maybe it's just from having to go a few months without being able to enjoy food has reminded me once again how very good it is. Well...I can't stop talking or thinking about Girl Scout Cookies. One of the girls from church was selling some and I bought 5 boxes from her. Samoas are my all time favorite. Absolute deliciousness, but we also like the Tagalongs and Thin Mints and I don't know how I came away without any of the shortbread cookies because those are good too. 2 boxes are almost gone (it's not just me eating them) and I am sure the others will be gone soon. Here's to all those little girls standing outside of Safeways and Fred Meyers across the country...Thank you for the cookies! They are so good!

2008-02-04T15:41:00.000-08:00

Sometimes I forget that I am having a baby. It's not that I don't know I'm pregnant, but my experience with this second child has been so much different than with my first. When I was pregnant with Liam, the world revolved around my round and growing belly. It was all I thought about, talked about, and cared about. I feel like I have so much keeping me busy, that I can hardly believe I am almost half way through this pregnancy. The time went by so slowly with Liam and I was so impatient for every new thing. Everything is zooming past me right now that I wish in some ways that it would all slow down a little. But there are still those very special moments where time seems to stand still, like feeling the baby move and it reminds of me of this special little person God has created.

I wanted to share some pictures of little man/woman and I at 18 weeks.

I sure love these boys. I have been working on Jeb's days off for about 6 months and my schedule changed this week so that we are going to have one day off together every week. Today was spent with these most special boys in my life and I have enjoyed every minute of it!

Home Sick

2008-01-20T09:12:00.000-08:00

We are staying home from church today, Liam and I. He is sick. He woke up last night having all sorts of horrible croupy symptoms. He sounded like a dog barking when he coughed and had wheezy breathing. I was just reflecting on how since he has been born I have stayed home from church probably more than the rest of my life combined. I miss being there with everyone. At the same time, I love being here for my baby when he is so helpless and down in spirits. I love being with him when he's sick because there is so much cuddling and he is so relient on someone to be here for him. But it hurts my heart to see a little person who is normally full of energy and with such a positive disposition to be so helpless. To make it worse, I can't tell him it's Sunday either, because he would be so upset to miss church because he LOVES church. Usually when I ask him what he would like to do for fun on any given day he says he wants to go to children's church. Poor little guy. Now he has to wait until next week!

Magically Delicious

2008-01-18T13:03:00.000-08:00

I indulged myself lately when I was shopping while hungry at the grocery store which is a very bad idea when you are pregnant AND hungry. So as I was strolling down the cereal aisle I noticed my childhood/college favorite cereal was on sale. I usually try to avoid cereals like this one because of all the sugar hype and lack of nutrition, but I just couldn't resist this time. I threw it in the cart and told Liam we would have it for breakfast in the morning. The next morning I pour a bowl and he goes straight for the marshmallows. I ate two bowls and they took me back to Saturday morning breakfasts in the cafeteria in college and to my Great Grandma's house where we always got to pick out a special box of cereal to eat and my choice was always none other than Lucky Charms. It is soooo yummy. Plus I get the added fun of every morning Liam asking for the cereal with "Peter Pan" on it. I don't have the heart to tell him it is really a leprechaun...at least not yet.

The bun in the oven

2008-01-12T13:09:00.000-08:00

Things have finally turned a bend for me these past few weeks as far as my pregnancy goes. There were days and sometimes a week here and there when I seriously didn't know how I was going to make it through nine months of feeling the way I did, but those symptoms have started to fade. My energy is up. My appetite is back. Food tastes good again. There are moments of being sick that still pop up here and there, but overall, I feel a million times better. I have even started excercising again this week in hopes of keeping somewhat fit. I am in my 15th week now and Baby Bristow-Hanna is due the 4th of July! We'll be finding out if the baby is a boy or girl in about a month! What do you think it's going to be?

Happy Holidays in January!

2008-01-08T19:26:00.000-08:00

A belated Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to everyone! Hope yours was great!!!

Ahhh...it's so nice for Christmas to be all over and for a new year to have begun. I like winter, I like the decorating, I like the tree and all the lights, I like giving gifts, I like the good food, I love seeing family and friends, but I also like the calm after the busyness. On a different note, Liam really got Christmas this year. Up until now he has been oblivious to the presents and everything, but it gave me so much joy to watch him open each present and be completely enamoured with the gift. Christmas was pretty awesome because we had snow. Not just a little, we had a whopping 3 feet of it. Enough snow to build a snowwoman with Liam and my nieces. We had a wood fire crackling around the clock to keep us nice and toasty inside. That was what I liked about Christmas.

Eleesha and Jayden's snowwoman
Liam kept getting stuck in the snow

All the cousins eating breakfast together. You can't tell, but they are watching a movie. They watched the movie "Cars" probably 10 times in one week!

2007-11-27T15:33:00.000-08:00

If you hadn't already heard the good news,

WE ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!

And we are thrilled!

Liam will be a great big brother!

Jeb will be a fabulous father of 2!

And me, I couldn't be happier!

Baby #2 is due the first week of July.

Celebrating Thanks

2007-11-07T14:19:00.000-08:00

We are coming up on my favorite holiday of the year. Thanksgiving. A celebration of being Thankful. I think too often this holiday has become a tradition of turkey, cranberry, mashed potatoes, eat-to0-much family dinners. BUT, I think it is significant to celebrate being thankful. I think it is very Christian to celebrate thankfulness. It may be my favorite holiday because of my fond memories every year, eating the best food and seeing all my Allaway cousins and after dinner spending all night playing hide and seek in Grandpa's haymow. But as I have gotten older, the idea of celebrating thanks has truly grown on me. And I enjoy it for its simplicity...it is so much less hectic than the holiday that follows it and it is definitely something that I want to celebrate more than the holiday that precedes it. So as the day draws near, I am reminded to celebrate being thankful for what I have been given.

Table for Two

2007-11-04T21:33:00.001-08:00

I just wanted to say that God has really been pouring blessings over us. I remembered after the last post about this past Friday night. Some friends offered to watch Liam so that we could go out just Jeb and I. So that is blessing number 1. I can't remember the last time we went out without Liam. We do get babysitters from time to time, but I don't know when the last time was. So then we decided we would go out to PF Chang's for dinner. Little did we know that they now are accepting reservations. It was a Friday night at peak dinner time. The restaurant was full. There were tons of people waiting. So we joined the line of people to go into the restaurant. First couple walks to hostess. "Table for two". They reply, "We're looking at about 1 hour and 45 minute wait." Second couple walks to hostess. Same reply. We're next and walk to hostess even though we have heard the previous two replies...and she says, "1 hour and 45 minutes....oh wait...we have a table". And we are seated immediately by the windows with a view. We were baffled...how could the tables turn so quickly UNLESS God wanted us to have a very special date! I am thankful for this blessing also. I give God the credit and not coincidence or chance of circumstance. He knew it was special for us so He opened up that table right away.

The other way that God has blessed us is through people. We have been a single car family for quite a while now. We haven't really minded all too much because there is a bus stop literally right outside our front door, so we have traded on and off taking the bus and having the bus stop so nearby has been a blessing to us. Liam loves to ride the bus too, so I am glad that he has had that experience. But there are those certain times. Like the times that it is cold outside and raining and you and your 2 year old son caught a bus that was late and so you missed your connecting bus and have to wait for twenty more minutes in the cold, wind, and rain. Well, someone from our church just up and gave us a truck. I know...generous. We are blessed. We are humbled. We are thankful. This is a huge way God has been blessing us through Him and His people here at Bellevue.

And I don't think that is the only way we have been blessed. I feel almost embarassed to write it down here but our neighbors have had bedbugs. I only know because I work in the office now. This has had me weirded out for quite a while and I am just grossed out by it. They have been fighting them for almost a year. It spread to their neighbor who is also across the hall from us so they decided to check and treat our apartment out of precaution. We were in the clear and treated. It was quite an ordeal to get treated...it was almost as if we moved out of our apartment and everything was taken out of closets and piled in our living room for a day and then we moved back into our apartment the next day. I was pretty hacked off about the whole ordeal but at the same time I would do anything to keep bed bugs away. So I am thankful because God has kept us free and clear. I have felt so humiliated and embarassed by this, but NOT getting bedbugs has been a huge blessing. I am grateful that God has blessed us. And maybe for our sakes, and for our poor neighbors who have continued to be fighting these bedbugs, you can pray that they too will be blessed with NO more bedbugs! I couldn't imagine having these recurrences for almost a year now.

I know God does so much more than these petty things I am listing here, I just wanted to write these down to say that I am thankful. And if anything, to remind myself.

Dirty Laundry

2007-11-04T15:24:00.000-08:00

I have to say that lately I have really experienced God in my life when I am in the laundry room. It may sound strange, but that is a physical place where I often pray to God and He continues to bless me very blatantly each time. I know I have written about it before, but it happened again today. I stood there by the washing machine as it ate two quarters, but wouldn't take the third one. I tried again and again for at least 5 full minutes, and while profanities were on the verge of running from my head to out of my mouth, I decided to stop and I said a little prayer. CHA-CHING! In goes the last quarter. I don't know why all these experiences with quarters really make me feel like God is answering my prayers, but they are simple, yet significant ways that God is blessing me. Thanks again big man.

Happy Halloween

2007-11-01T09:11:00.000-07:00

Well, we had more like a Boo Hoo Halloween this year. Liam was so cute in his Tow Mater costume made by Auntie Beth, but anytime we actually put it on him he cried his little eyes out until we took it off again. Needless to say, he didn't wear it for very long. He got his full share of candy from our MOPS get together in the morning and asks us if he can have his candy for breakfast. I think Jerry Seinfeld was right when he did his bit about kids and candy. I have a kid who will do anything for candy. Jeb and I didn't take our pictures, but we were graduates...AGAIN. Every year Halloween rolls around and the cap and gown is always so convenient to pull out of the closet. It was fun. Now I give permission for stores and shopping centers to officially put out their Thanksgiving deco....we have to take things in order that they come. I am personally shunning stores who have their Christmas decorations out already.

Fires

2007-10-24T11:17:00.000-07:00

I am sure that everyone knows someone who is affected by the fires in Southern California. I know a few people. Thankfully, my sister Rachel and her husband just missed the boundary where people had to evacuate their homes by only a few blocks. They are just close enough to town that they got to stay at home despite all the smoke in the air. However, all of Stephen's family have been evacuated from their homes. I haven't heard an update on if their homes have been damaged or if they were just evacuated out of precaution. I read today that the winds are dying down so that is positive. But there are still many people who will now be without homes in the area. Please remember them and let's pray that this fire is contained soon.

God bless prune juice

2007-10-16T09:04:00.000-07:00

This stuff has worked miracles in my son's life. He has been backed up for nearly a year, struggling to be regular. It finally got to the point where he refused to eat fiber-rich foods and juices and hadn't gone poo for one whole week. So Mom decided it was time to intervene. I made him drink the prune juice. He didn't want to, but I kept at it until one whole cup was gone. The next day when he was trying to hold his bowel movement in, he couldn't any longer and out came a weeks worth size of waste. And the next day he drank another glass and the same thing happened. I just want to say I am so thankful God made prune juice. It has made a difference in my family's life.

4 years ago today

2007-10-03T17:48:00.000-07:00

It all started here four years ago today. We were so young, so naive, so excited for the adventure of life to begin. We believe God brought us here and we are so glad that He did. I am so grateful for all the relationships and friends and people who have become like family to me. I am so excited for the story to continue being told. I am so happy to call this place and the people here my home.

Wake up so I can play with you and stop blogging about nothing!

2007-09-21T13:51:00.000-07:00

Some days I count down the minutes until he goes to bed and others I count down the minutes until he wakes up again. It is all about perspective. Today I can't wait for him to wake up.

Mr. Coffee

2007-09-18T13:33:00.000-07:00

Like a good friend, Mr. Coffee is up early to greet us every morning. Little did we know that when we acquired this six years ago as a white elephant Christmas gift, that we would still be relying on it to start our day every day. I am amazed at its performance and longevity. And now six years later I am here to brag about our Mr. Coffee that continues to produce after lots of use and many years. We really owe it to the Williams family that happened to receive 3 of these for their wedding and couldn't return the extras, thus becoming a great white elephant gift for none other than the Bristow-Hanna's who are grateful to this day.

Grandma Lue

2007-09-05T12:09:00.000-07:00

Luella Holtmann

"Grandma Lue"

Words can hardly begin to do justice to a life lived fully. My life is full of sweet memories of this lady, my grandma. I was blessed to grow up in the same town as my grandma and really know her. She was pretty hip. I know she was the first person to own a VCR in all of Trout Lake and more than likely she was probably the first person in Trout Lake to have a satellite dish. She was pretty much on the cutting edge of technology for our little hick town. We liked it though because it meant that growing up we got to watch nickelodeon and star wars as much as we wanted. Not to mention that her freezer was always full of Schwann's ice cream bars. We worked on puzzles, played games, watched the latest Disney movies, and ate food that mom and dad would never let us eat. Going to Grandma's house was pretty amazing!

Grandma was interested in many things. She collected happy dragons. She collected avon. She collected fancy ear rings. She collected salt cellars. She collected bulldogs. She collected glass floats. She loved birds and fed many in her yard. She was an artist. And a good one at that. She painted beautiful scenes of the ocean, the mountains, flowers, animals, landscapes...and she painted until the arthritis in her hands would not let her paint any more.

But beyond all of these facts about her life, the thing that I loved most about my Grandma was that she loved to visit. I loved sitting on the padded step ladder in her kitchen that served as the visitors chair while she made a fresh pot of coffee. There we would sit and talk about whatever. She liked to listen to anyone. She had many friends that would come sit in her kitchen and visit over a cup of coffee. We would sit there talking, me telling her about school, boyfriends, friends, family, etc. and she would listen and encourage with an occasional pause to look at the hummingbirds feeding outside her window.

I was not ready to get the call from my dad this morning that Grandma had died. I would have loved to have several more visits in the kitchen over a freshly brewed pot of folgers coffee. I would have loved to call her just one more time and hear her distinct voice on the other end of the phone. I miss her deeply. And the hardest thing about death is the fact that I just wish I had one more chance to see her. She had just heard that her cancer was not advancing and she wouldn't have to go in to check again for another six months. She and Grandpa watched the Mariners game last night and afterwards he tucked an extra blanket around her because she was feeling cold and they sat together visiting with his arm around her when she got very quiet and didn't answer back. She just slipped away peacefully and unexpectedly. And while I miss her here on earth, I live with the hope of seeing her again.

2007-09-04T12:37:00.000-07:00

I have been reminded once again why I love what we do. I had forgotten for a while there how cool it is to hang out with young people. But they showed me again why they are so incredibly awesome. Teens are so encouraging to me. They are so revolutionary without hardly knowing that they are. This past weekend we spent a weekend with several teens at Camp Yamhill for Faith Quest. The teens from our group are so incredible for so many reasons, but I am glad to list a few of those reasons here. First, they accept eachother so unconditionally. They worship God with their whole heart, soul, and strength. They are so honest and tell the truth without all the beating around the bush. They are themselves. Their faith in God is addicting. I have been encouraged because of teens. They are changing the world. Their compassion is far reaching. And to think that my husband is actually paid to hang out with them and talk about God with them...amazing. Thank you God for this past weekend at Faith Quest and thank you Bellevue teens for encouraging me just by seeking God in your lives. I am inspired.

#1 Fan

2007-08-26T21:27:00.000-07:00

I love rock and roll. And I am this bands biggest fan. I had front row tickets to this one-time special edition concert! You only wish you could be there to see him performing live. Stay away girls, he's mine...all mine!

The great outdoors

2007-08-19T13:03:00.000-07:00

Our family has been trying to get outside and we've succeeded a few times lately. We have been hiking at Tiger Mountain twice in the past week and Jeb has been taking Liam there most days while I am working. I like hiking. I like being outdoors. Sometimes I just feel so bottled up in my little apartment that I can hardly contain my desire to be outside. Times like this make me a whole lot happier. I like God's creation. I appreciate it. It's beautiful. It's calming. It's invigorating. There's nothing quite like it. Along the way we saw this happy log. Jeb carts Liam around and always gives him a stick to play with. Liam sits there in the back with his stick reaching with all his might to hit trees and bushes with it and every now and then accidentally takes a swing at Dad too.

At the end of this particular hiking place we run across some blackberries. I know, scrumptious after a hike. They're so sweet and ripe right now too. The other day we went to some friends house to pick blackberries and had enough left over to make a pie AND a cobbler AND some to go in my freezer. During the picking I got into some stinging nettle. I haven't been stung by that stuff since 3rd grade at Camp Yamhill. My skin welted and everything! But after all that I still had a delicous homemade-still-warm-from-the-oven pie to soothe the pain. I think it was all worth it.

Later Alligator

2007-08-19T12:57:00.000-07:00

Liam's little friends keep coming and going out of his life. Here he is with his friend Jude who moved to Texas. We'll miss Jude's mom and dad too. They are getting a pretty sweet deal since they'll be a lot closer to their families now. God bless you Abuzeides as you make your new home!

2007-08-09T13:53:00.000-07:00

Jeb and I just got back from a trip to Santa Rosa, CA. We went there for Peter Wilson and Lindsey Morgan's wedding. It was such a beautiful and worship-full ceremony! Their love and faith was so evident in everything that was said and sung! We interned in Santa Rosa for a summer 6 years ago and while we have seen people like Lindsey over the years, we saw everyone from church while we were there. I must say that there is something special and awesome going on at the Sonoma Ave church of Christ in Santa Rosa. To me they embody a people that lives out the grace that Jesus shows us. Their love for eachother and their community is so evident. It was funny going back and visiting all of the places that we spent time at that summer...places like the church building. Going back today, to be honest, it is a pretty ghetto church building. But that never seemed to get in the way of God's spirit moving hearts and changing lives there. Should you ever be passing through that way, stop on by and more than likely they will open their doors and arms and welcome you in and you will get a sense of God's presence like never before!

Whistle while you work

2007-07-31T08:51:00.000-07:00

I have been thinking about what to write lately. God has given me opportunities. I am not on a career track or anything, but I had an opportunity to work more and I jumped on it. You see, we thought it just might be providential that they happened to need someone on Jeb's random days off each week. We have been going through Dave Ramsey's Financial Peace University and he is all about paying off debt. My student loans have been hanging around for what feels like forever. So, we are seizing this opportunity to work and dedicate my efforts to being free of debt! Our hope and goal is that in one year ALL of our debt will be gone and we can then focus more on our future. I haven't been able to think of something to write because I am a little more tired than before. I don't mind the working at all, in fact I do enjoy it. But with it comes sacrifice. I miss my husband and kid on what used to be family days. BUT, we both agreed that one year in the big scheme of things isn't much time. So I will press on and be disciplined for this year to hopefully achieve our goal or at least get us a lot closer to it. And in the meantime, you can pray for us.

Confession

2007-07-15T22:38:00.001-07:00

I pick my son's boogers for him. And then I show them to him afterwards because he likes to look at them.

Retoast

2007-07-13T13:20:00.000-07:00

So I got the honor and privilege of making a toast at my sister's wedding last Saturday. I have never made a toast before and it really showed. I had been thinking about what I was going to say for months, literally. And when it came down to the day I still had nothing except 1 Cortinthians 13. The Bible is always a good thing to use, right? Well I ran it past a few people and they said to say something more sisterly and personal. Rachel and my sisterly relationship is very much a love/fight relationship. We love eachother so very much and she is my closest friend, yet for some reason we can not stop fighting or debating or arguing or getting under eachother's skin after all this time. So I took the mic and started going into Rachel's "fighting spirit" and telling a story about her. The crowd laughed, so I don't know if that was good or not, but I didn't say what I really wanted to say. I really am not very gifted with words when in front of a crowd, I tell a story and leave out the most important part or just forget where I'm heading. So since I wanted to explain myself a little more, I am going to re-toast Rachel and Stephen right here. So pause for a minute, go get your glass and fill it because we're going to say cheers and clink glasses at the end.

My sister Rachel. I have waited 28 long years to be able to say these words. To my sister and friend. And to Stephen, the man we have waited and prayed for for years. We are so glad you are a part of our family. I would like to tell you about a unique and exquisite quality that Rachel has. Her redeeming quality is that she is a fighter. We need to travel back in time to when Rachel was in junior high at a friend's sleepover. During the night all the girls snuck out of the house except one girl. That's right, my sister stayed at home and went to bed instead of sneaking out of the house. And when all the girls got home from their nighttime rendezvous, one of the girls woke Rachel up to get her to move because she wanted to sleep there. So Rachel said no way, hauled off and slugged the girl, grabbed her sleeping bag and her clothes and walked home a mile in the dark to her own house to sleep. But this was a good thing in my eyes. Rachel fought back for doing the right thing. And there have been many other events in Rachel's life where she fought hard for good things. She sets her eyes on the goal and works hard to get there despite the obstacles in her way. She pereseveres and is in it for the long haul. So Stephen, I just want to say that you are getting a good girl that will fight hard for the right things. She will work hard and she does what is right. And my hope is that the two of you will continue to fight for what is good in your marriage. That you will fight and strive for a deep and unwavering love for God. That you will fight for a love that is selfless and humble, always putting eachother before yourselves. And that you will fight for the good of others in your ministry together. Here's to fighting for what's important. I love you guys.

(And everyone in blogland raises their glasses and clinks them together and says "Cheers!")

Mr. & Mrs!

2007-07-08T22:04:00.000-07:00

You are looking at the beautiful Mrs. Stephen Winter. My sister Rachel was married yesterday! I am thrilled that she has found such a wonderful godly man who is going to take care of her and be her partner in life. Stephen, we have been waiting and praying for you for years, and are so thankful that you are now a part of our family! It is amazing to pray for something and then to be so surprised and tickled once it shows up...Rachel and Stephen are a great match! But here is the sad part...my sister will no longer be living a 3 hour car ride away from me...she will now be a 3 hour plane ride away from me. So after the fabulous celebration and fun and as I watched their car speed away with the toilet paper and whipping cream smeared so artfully over it...I cried. While I would never want things back the way they were and I celebrate this very joy-filled event...I will miss my sister and my friend.

Malaria

2007-07-01T18:12:00.000-07:00

I read an article on malaria recently in National Geographic. I was not aware of how horrible this disease is until I read this article and I was blown away by the statistics on this terrible and deadly epidemic. In Africa alone, the article said that a child dies every 5 seconds, that's 3,000 every day and there are over a million people who die from this every year. While malaria is found in many parts of the world, and was even present in our own nation over 50 years ago, Africa is the one place where they can't seem to get a good handle on it and it is one of the few epidemics that has actually gotten worse over time. Science and the medical field usually jump on epidemics like this to put a stop to them. In the past in our country we used a chemical called DDT to wipe out malaria and they used this in many other parts of the world, but somehow got put to a stop before it reached Africa. Now that we have more knowledge of this chemical (DDT) and it's effect on peregrin falcons and their offspring, we don't use it for the sake of the birds and environment. I just want to be extremely clear that I don't know all of the complications of malaria and chemicals like DDT, I have only read one article on it....BUT, IF we are choosing not to use DDT to preserve bird life over human life, because of its effect on the environment and on birds, then we live in a pretty sick and inhumane world. But like I said before, I am far from being an expert. In Africa they are also doing things like giving malaria meds, which apparently have lost some of their effectiveness because the mosquito has grown immune to it. Sometimes even the most simple thing like sleeping under a mosquito net with insecticide on it will help reduce the risk of malaria by a significant amount. I write all this because I hope that we can help the people in Africa to be rid of this horrible sickness once and for all and I hope we never turn our back on people who are hurting and dying just because it is in a far off distant land and it doesn't affect our own comfortable suburban American lives. What can we do? I don't have a clue, but I do know that I am going to read and learn and listen and hopefully get off my hiny and at least try something.

One of those days

2007-06-19T10:21:00.000-07:00

It's been one of THOSE days. You know the ones. Everyone has them from time to time. I woke up and my house is a wreck. There's laundry to do and dishes to wash. My kid won't obey. I got on the scale and it went up again. I looked at our bank account and we'll be pinching pennies for the rest of the month. It's my hubbies turn to have the car, so I am stuck at home unless I walk or ride the bus. I am in a bad mood.

But as I am thinking of all these things that are making me angry and frustrating me, I ask myself, so what am I going to do about it?

My options are pretty simple. I could sit here and sulk and be upset all day long. Heck, I could even go on strike and not clean my house. I could sit on my rear and continue to watch the numbers on the scale go up. I could pout because I have to ride the bus because we don't have a second car. I could get angry. I could be frustrated with my son all day. And although sometimes I think some of these things are the more comfortable, more self-pleasing options, it doesn't help me be who I want to be.

My other options are to acknowledge today is not my favorite and just suck it up. Be thankful for my house and clean it so that I enjoy being in it. I can try something different with my son. I can choose to eat healthful things and move a little so that I don't feel fat. I can choose to not buy unneccessary things and acknowledge that I am one of the richest people in the world and be thankful. I can ride the bus or walk and be grateful I have comfortable shoes, working legs, and a bus station nearby. I do have the power of choice about what I will do and be today.

The question is, what AM I going to do today? Will it please me? Will it please Him?

Totally Awesome Twos

2007-06-14T15:12:00.000-07:00

My son turned two last week. He has been so fun to watch grow and learn and develop into his own little person. I have enjoyed him so much for these first 2 years of his life. A lot of people always say the cliche statement "terrible twos", but that really hasn't been the case for me. Yes, he is getting to be very independent, and yes he is very passionate and adament about certain things, but I like that about him! Sometimes we disagree and he protests my decision, but that is alright with me and it usually only takes a minute before he is once again distracted by pushing a car or throwing a ball. The other thing about this age that I love is how much he likes to tell me. Sometimes he just says whatever I say and other times, he will yell from across the room "Firetruck! Firetruck! Mommy! Firetruck!" And he wants to share his excitement with me. I love my son and I hope and pray that he will grow to love God deeply and passionately for all his life.

In your arms of love

2007-06-06T11:21:00.000-07:00

My son fell asleep in my arms today. It has become a rare thing for him to do, being that he usually just crawls into bed on his own and takes a nap. But days like today are special. I could tell by the time he finished his lunch that he was fading fast, so I picked him up and held him as he drifted off into sleep. Once he arrives at that sleeping state, I like to hold him and look at him for a while. I like to look at him sleeping in my arms and to savor that moment because moments like it are fewer and far in between these days. It is a magical or divine feeling to hold your child sleeping in your arms. They trust you and are comfortable and at ease in that moment. They feel safe and they rest their busy little bodies in the comfort of your arms. At times like this I feel like I grasp a little bit of God's unfailing love for us. I know how much I love my son...and if God is as thrilled with me, His child, as I am with my son, then I must be something pretty special to him. In my human mind, if God loves me even as much as I love my son, then I am so loved...but the truth is that God loves me more than I will ever comprehend. My love for my son has errors and mistakes written all over it, I have to start new every morning, yet God loves me perfectly. It brings me comfort to know that like my baby son sleeping and resting in my arms of love, that I have a Savior and loving Father that I can rest in His arms of love...holding me still...holding me near in His arms of love. I can rest in Him knowing He is gazing down at me with adoration and pride and unfailing love because I am His child. He is thrilled with me for I am His. I hope that you find rest for your soul in God's arms of love today. It is such a good place to be.

For moms out there

2007-06-04T08:43:00.000-07:00

One Hundred Years from now (excerpt from "Within My Power" by Forest Witcraft)

One Hundred Years from now
It will not matter what kind of car I drove,
What kind of house I lived in,
how much money was in my bank account
nor what my clothes looked like.
But the world may be a better place because I was important in the life of a child.

Anniversary Trip

2007-05-27T20:37:00.000-07:00

We celebrated our 5th Wedding Anniversary last week out at the Oregon Coast. We left the kid with the grandparents and we ate a lot of food and had a great time!

First stop was in our old neighborhood in NE Portland. We drove past our first apartments just to make sure that they hadn't changed and then went to one of our favorite breakfast joints. Cadillac Cafe. Here is me sipping some of their delicious coffee. Afterwards I had a yummy Hazelnut custard french toast with apple sausage. mmmmm.

Next we drove out to beautiful Cannon Beach, Oregon. The drive through the Coast Range is beautiful and it was a warm 80 degree day. I was counting on it being cold out on the coast but we were pleasantly surprised. Here is my man striking a pose in front of Haystack Rock. It has changed so much since I was a child. I have fond memories of playing and exploring sealife in the tide pools here. Now it has been made into a marine sanctuary so you can no longer touch and walk in certain places. And while that is good for the animals, it just isn't as much fun for me personally.Some of the sea life that we encountered. This little guy would bury itself in the sand if you touched it. Quite interesting to watch and look at. We stocked up on food and movies at the store to take back to our room. We watched so many movies uninterrupted. And we ate so much junk food. We had so much fun just being free to do whatever!

We cuddled up and watched the sunset out on the beach.

Haystack Rock again. Hanging out at our favorite driftwood log as we watched the sunset and the waves roll in.

The sunsets were beautiful. Makes me wish I could go back to this place...

We walked over to the unpopular rock that is just north of Haystack rock. We could climb all over it and look at the sealife. Although I will have you know that my hubbie worries about falling an aweful lot. He made us go back down after this point.

Long walks on the beach. Lots of talking. Lots of food. Jeb even gave me a piggy back ride across this water, Isn't he sweet!

The last night Jeb made a campfire and we watched the sunset. It was cold that night, but we managed to stay toasty by our fire. As everyone else retired for the day and went inside, we stayed out and lingered just a bit longer to hear the waves crash and to soak up our last bit of beach for we were going home the next day.

And then it was time to head home and see the little guy. We were both beginning to miss him. Look at this kid, don't you think you'd miss him too?

2007-05-19T08:04:00.000-07:00

5 years. I love you Jeb. Thank you for being my friend and partner in life.

Faker

2007-05-16T11:22:00.000-07:00

"Sleeping"

Total Cuteness

2007-05-11T07:59:00.000-07:00

Our son loves to take his clothes off and put his shoes on. It's like his new favorite thing. Every day he gets every pair of shoes that he owns, pulls the laces out of them and puts them on. I love his growing independence and personality! He is so adoreable!

Revisiting Abs

2007-05-09T12:44:00.000-07:00

We did this 6-week healthy eating/workout regime last fall and it is easy to follow and makes you feel great. Jeb and I are currently revisiting the same plan that is based on having a healthy lifestyle...eating 3 meals and 3 snacks daily and an easy to follow workout plan that only takes about 30 minutes every day. The other thing that I like about this diet is that they base your success not just on how much you weigh, but they also base it on your BMI, your waist-to-hip ratio and your body fat percentage. Every time I have ever done this program, I have had success in at least one of those areas. So here's to living healthfully.

Happy Birthday Yesterday

2007-05-08T12:24:00.000-07:00

These 2 Jasons share the same birthday. The first is my older brother whom I love dearly. The second is my friend who also happens to be married to a very very dear friend of mine. Happy Birthday guys!

2007-05-07T21:59:00.000-07:00

Well we are back home again. We got off to a rough start on our way to the Pepperdine Lectures. On our way to the airport at 5 am after getting about 4 hours of sleep, Liam threw up in the car, just a little. The flight went okay, but once we got to Pepperdine he was running a fever for the first day, so we took turns taking care of him. Finally his fever broke and he was acting like he was fine. I never figured out what the fever was from and he didn't vomit anymore, so what could have been a rough week of having a sick kid away from home turned out to be a very enjoyable week.

The theme of this year's lectureship was Hear the Word of the Lord taken from the text of Jeremiah. I was more than inspired and renewed by the speakers there. They really take that prophetic text and help it make sense to me. I think the overall theme that I am walking away with is the fact that Jeremiah was talking to a generation who had become self-righteous...they did church well...they knew the rules and followed them. The problem was that somehow they missed the big picture of love for God and others...they had forgotten the widows and the orphans and Jeremiah weeped over them because their faith had become such a show and not genuine to the point of serving and helping others and living for God. I know there is a lot more to the text than that, that is just what I am walking away with. I am inspired to be more authentic in my love for Jesus. I hope that I can follow God's lead and truly live out the gospel towards my neighbors and community members and those in my church too.

I found some time by myself while I was there also. I can't remember the last time that I had time to sit and ponder the word of God and pray like my heart desires to. I treasure times like this when I can meditate and do some soul searching. It's not that I never have time to do this normally, but I usually have so many things distracting me or rushing me...a dirty house that needs to be cleaned, my child waking up from his nap, the fact that if I don't take a shower I won't get to that day, so for these things, I often sacrifice my time to read God's word and truly speak to Him about the things pressing on my heart. So I spent some time praying. You know, God has done some great things that I want to give Him credit for when I have had that time to pray. One time, six years ago at the Pepperdine Lectures, I spent a similar time in prayer. I was praying for direction for the summer since I had recently graduated from college. I had applied to intern at a church with Jeb but had been turned down because we were dating. So they hired Jeb and I was left wondering what was going to become of me. I prayed for God to show me what he wanted me to do. Later that same day I was making my way through the crowd of people at Pepperdine when my name was called out. For some reason, someone that I had met only once in my life recognized me out of the crowd of people and called me over. It was the preacher from Santa Rosa, CA where Jeb was going to be interning. I went over and greeted him and was introduced to the elders from his church. They wanted to hire me despite the fact that Jeb and I were dating. Despite the fact that they had already told me no. Despite the fact that I hadn't even sent them a resume. And so I agreed to go. And I am so thankful I did. I am so thankful that God gave Jeb and I that summer to do His work side by side before we were married. It only convinced me even more that we needed to be married and do ministry together. I hope every dating couple has the chance to serve alongside eachother before they commit to a life together. I am thankful for the relationships that were made that summer because they are people who I have a deep love and respect for. They are people that are faithful workers for the Lord who have helped me in my walk and who have helped to refine me as a Christian. And to think it was all because God had a plan. It was no coincidence that I happened to be recognized out of the thousands of people who were there. I think all of it has to do with calling out to God in prayer to direct my life and letting Him be faithful to answer in his perfect time and in a way that let's me know that He is making this happen and I was willing to listen. I hope that I will always seek God in prayer like this.

2007-04-30T20:01:00.000-07:00

We live in an apartment complex that has a laundry room down the hall. Now there are disadvantages to not having a washer and dryer in your unit, things like not being able to do laundry as often as you have a pile of dirty clothes (every day) and other things like having to carry all your laundry down the hall and through the breezeway to get to the laundry room (with a toddler to "help you") and always having to have quarters around to do your laundry. There are also some great things about having a laundry room. One of the best things is the fact that I can do up to 5 loads of laundry in about an hour and a half because the laundry room has about 10 washers and dryers and it usually isn't busy during the week. I think the thing that I can never stay caught up on is having quarters around to do my laundry. It feels like I am constantly buying a roll of quarters and then days like today I go to do my laundry and I am one quarter short from being able to put both loads into the washer. Situations like this have been faith-building to me. Every time that I am just one quarter short from starting my load I always pray that God will help me to find a quarter under one of the washers. It's not that I don't have .25 cents, it's just that to start the laundry RIGHT THEN I need that one quarter. And for some reason, every time I have ever needed that one quarter to start my laundry, I slip my hand under the washer and find it. God is good and faithful, even if this is a small thing. I know I can always walk over to the store to get more quarters to do the laundry, but I am thankful that God has been faithful to me to provide, even in this small yet significant way. Thank you God for always giving right when I need it....even if it's just one quarter.

We are headed to the Pepperdine Lectures this week. I am looking forward to hopefully seeing some of that southern California sun, spending the week with my awesome family, and being encouraged and uplifted. I look forward to catching up with whomever I run into and the reunion of old friendships and perhaps the start of new ones too. I hope to grow closer to the Lord by the things I learn there and I want to set aside some time to truly relax and have some peace of mind. So hopefully I'll see you there!

Comfort

2007-04-26T18:44:00.000-07:00

I just bought my first pair of Teva flip flops. I am not diappointed. They make my feet happy.

Candy

2007-04-23T23:08:00.000-07:00

It was really fun to watch Liam on Easter this year. We didn't do anything fantastic, but a girl from church planned a little Easter egg hunt just for Liam. It was so much fun watching him go around finding eggs. And of course he got sugared out. Check out the pics below of he with his stash of candy. By the way, candy is like his new favorite word. Ever since he has discovered the stuff, it has brought out the demons in him. He asks for candy for breakfast and all through the day. Well on Easter, he definitely got his fair share and that made him a happy camper.

The scooter race

2007-04-23T22:55:00.000-07:00

Jeb can ride a scooter pretty well. I don't know what his strategy for scooting is, but he has made it into an art form. And he's fast too. One time he scooted alongside someone riding a bike and kept up with them for at least a mile. Here he is racing his sister (another scooter enthusiast) and it was a tight race in the start and we weren't sure how it would all turn out, but Jeb pulled in the lead to win. He definitely has scooter skills.

Our Newest Nephew

2007-04-23T22:23:00.000-07:00

This past week I went south to visit our new nephew Jackson James. He is a handsome and healthy little boy. He was born on Easter and weighed in at 9 pounds 4 ounces. Even though my brother is older than me, it's funny sometimes to see him as a dad. He is a great dad by the way and willingly changes poopy diapers like a pro! Congratulations Jason and Jen on your growing family! We love you all!

Here are all the Allaway cousins. I think they are going to grow up having lots of fun together. Jayden (4), Eleesha (6), Liam (almost 2), and Jackson (2 weeks)

My Bed

2007-04-03T22:20:00.000-07:00

I don't know if this is going to be a permanent thing, but as we were putting our kid to bed tonight, he insisted that he sleep in "my bed" (meaning the big bed in his room and not the crib). The weird thing about this is that we haven't pushed him to get in the big bed, and he has never slept in it before. So we thought we would lay him down with a few warnings that he better stay in it. And then we left the room and there was silence...no playing with toys, no talking himself to sleep...silence. And I don't know how this transition usually goes for kids from crib to bed or if this is a fluke that our kid is ready to sleep in a real bed but it did give us a pleasant surprise to walk in and find him fast asleep!

Bon Voyage

2007-04-03T22:10:00.000-07:00

Dude! What do you do? Our newfound friends have left Bellevue for their life's work in Ecuador. God bless you Justin, Jauna, and Kaiden as you live out your lives following the Spirit and doing the work that He has called you to. And for those of you who don't know these fine folks, they are taking over the work that our church supports in Ecuador. We are thrilled to see what God has in store for them and we are also going to miss their presence here in Bellevue. Rock on people.

People

2007-03-30T23:11:00.000-07:00

"People" is the title of an unfinished poem. Stephanie was working to write and rewrite a poem to express how she felt. She had been fighting cancer for so long and had won battles and taken some hard knocks and was trying to express in writing what was going on in that beautiful mind and heart of hers. She never finished her poem, but I believe she lived every word of it right to the last. Stephanie died on Monday, March 26 after a 2 year fight with cancer. She was tough and had guts. She kept her hopes high and never complained in the midst of her own pain and suffering. She was extremely gifted and talented and showed so much promise for whatever she set her mind to. She loved in a big way and showed no partiality to anyone. She prayed to God for help and believed in Him. She was so real in how she lived. She was 15 and has left us all too soon. We miss her greatly. Here is her unfinished poem,

"People"

Just keep walking, don't look down
Ignore the past and where we're bound
Live in the moment, the second, right now
But that's not enough when you take your bow

We think we don't need, we think we're okay
There's always tomorow, always next day
"I know you'll get better, I can work on it later"
But you'll find if you don't, it's the people that matter

If something flew at you from around the bend
That altered and rushed and changed the end
I wasn't, I didn't, dreams unfulfilled
But the question I land on is "How will they feel?"

Friends and family, daughters and sons
Will the celebrate, mourn or forget when you're done
When it comes down to it, it's not what you bequeath
But the hearts that you've touched and the memories you leave

So here's the thing
One lifetime isn't very long in the long run
It's impossible to see the end
Stuff could fly at you just around the bend
When it really comes down to it
It's the people you love, the people that love you
That makes your true legacy
If this was it, your very last day
What would you do, what would you say
We think we don't need, we think we're okay
There's always tomorrow, always next day
I wasn't, I didn't, dreams unfulfilled
But the question I land on is how will they feel

One lifetime's not much, so here's the thing
Take care what you live for, the song that you sing
Yes, live in the moment, just remember the people
If you've got tons of them, your life will be full

She lived a short, but full life. I am so blessed to have known her.

the wheels on the bus

2007-03-10T09:24:00.000-08:00

I have been riding the bus lately. I have been intimidated up until now because I did not understand and had no experience with the bus system. But that has all changed these past few weeks. I have been using it to get everywhere. It really isn't nearly as bad or as difficult as I had thought it would be. And the people on the bus are much more sane in reality than in my stereotype of what I thought they would be. A lot of times I feel as if this is a new adventure in my life and I am trying to embrace this period of riding the bus because who knows how long it will last and in just a few weeks it has added some fun moments to my life!

Here Kitty Kitty!

2007-03-02T10:29:00.000-08:00

So whenever we get together with my parents, my dad likes to tell us about how there is a cougar hanging around the Trout Lake valley. It's one thing for them to be up in the hills and forests surrounding Trout Lake because they have always been there, but it is another thing to be spending its time in town. Apparently they think one is going along Trout Creek, which runs through town and is just a short walk from my parents home. We like to talk about the size of them and how they are a very sneaky cat. Here is a picture that my aunt emailed to me of some guys who had to kill a Cougar up in the Gifford Pinchot National Forest. I don't know the details behind the story or anything, but the thing that surprises me is the size of these things! Since it is such a topic of interest to my pops, Jeb and he like to look up cougar attacks online. There have been a number of them, but one more recently was the story of an elderly couple who were hiking in California. Apparently the cougar attacked from behind and had gotten a hold of the man's scalp, but he was still able to yell for help to his wife. The wife apparently grabbed a large stick and started hitting the cat until it started to run away and afterwards she scared the cat off by screaming and waving the stick in the air. So if by chance you come across a mountain lion, know that you can intimidate it by acting big. Hopefully none of us will ever have to encounter one though.

Working Woman

2007-02-23T14:21:00.000-08:00

I got a new job. While I have never stopped working over the past 3 years...I am actually going to get paid to work again...amazing! I don't exactly know what my title will be, but it is somthing like: "On-call Cabana Person" for our apartment complex. It will mostly be weekends and evenings. I am excited about this job for many reasons: 1) I'll get a paycheck, 2) Jeb will watch Liam while I am working (so we won't have to pay for child care which also means that they will get Father/Son quality time), 3) I am on-call...so that means I can say yes or no to any given evening or weekend job depending on our schedule, 4) Commute time is about as long as it takes me to put my shoes on and walk through the apartment courtyard. Sounds pretty good, doesn't it! Maybe it isn't my dream job and it's not going to make me rich, but it sure does feel good to join the paid working world again.

Retreat

2007-02-21T14:48:00.000-08:00

re·treat /rɪˈtrit/ –noun
1. the forced or strategic withdrawal of an army or an armed force before an enemy, or the withdrawing of a naval force from action.
2.the act of withdrawing, as into safety or privacy; retirement; seclusion.
3.a place of refuge, seclusion, or privacy: The library was his retreat.
4.an asylum, as for the insane.
5.a retirement or a period of retirement for religious exercises and meditation.
6.Military.
a.a flag-lowering ceremony held at sunset on a military post.
b.the bugle call or drumbeat played at this ceremony.
7.the recession of a surface, as a wall or panel, from another surface beside it. –verb (used without object)
8.to withdraw, retire, or draw back, esp. for shelter or seclusion.
9.to make a retreat: The army retreated.
10.to slope backward; recede: a retreating chin.
11.to draw or lead back.

I think everyone needs a retreat every now and then. A retreat from the daily grind. A retreat from work. A retreat to get away. To relax. To reconnect with yourself. To enjoy creation. To talk to God. To be at peace. To reunite with friends. It's funny how being in youth ministry, there are so many retreats and weekends planned for teens to do all of these things above. They value it and we can see a difference in their lives after such a weekend. But I think we need things like this even more as adults...as pressures and responsibilities rise. But adults are probably the least likely to take that much-needed get away because of everything tying them to home. In 2 weekends, Jeb and I are retreating. It is the youth ministers retreat at Delano Bay Christian Camp. It gives us that peace and relaxation and restoration that we need. We have been going for about 4 or 5 years now and every year we enjoy God and His people. Where is your place of retreat?

Happy Valentines Day!

2007-02-14T11:39:00.000-08:00

Love is in the air today. I went to the grocery store early this morning to buy my son's Valentine's day gift. I carefully picked out a cellophane balloon and a $.99 box of chocolates. My son really loves candy, and especially chocolate, but I don't want him to eat a ton. So I figured the 4 chocolates in his little Valentine heart would suit him fine. And he did love it! But I am not writing this to talk about my son, I am writing this to talk about the love that was in the air at Safeway. It was 6:45 am and there was a thick line of men lined up at the only register open...and they had their flowers and chocolates in hand for their Valentine. I hear a lot of people saying that they think chocolates and flowers are cliche' for Valentine's day, but personally I think it is sweet. So maybe he didn't make a homemade card and write sonnets along with burning a CD of love songs, but I just think it's sweet that they are showing love in the way they know how. Maybe it is predictable...but it is a way of expressing love to another person. So my Valentine doesn't do the chocolates and flowers...he's way more creative than that...but I just want to say that even if that was all he did for Valentine's Day I would appreciate it just the same. Happy Valentines Day people.

Altar Boyz

2007-02-09T10:35:00.000-08:00

We went to see the show Altar Boyz with some friends last night. We laughed through the whole show, it is a crack up. It is about 5 guys who express their faith through song and dance on their "Raise the Praise Tour"...in boy band style. Matthew, Mark, Luke, Juan, and Abraham (he's Jewish) sing about camp girlfriends, getting calls from Jesus on their cell phones, etc. The show isn't meant to mock religion. But in their show they also exaggerate some of the different showy and trendy worship out there and really make it look ridiculous...and in reality there is some truth to the fact that worship can be extremely entertainment-driven. Overall, very funny. If easily offended, I don't recommend it.

2007-02-07T13:55:00.000-08:00

For those of you who have been following the story of our friend Steph (read some of my previous blogs), this is the email that I received from Steph's Mom yesterday:

Hi Everyone,
Stephanie had a CT scan today. Some of the nodules got smaller but a number of the ones that were small got much larger. It appears that the cancer has gotten resistant to the chemo. We don't have the final report from the radiologist (with measurements, etc) but for now the plan is to meet with the docotrs in a couple of weeks to discuss futher treatment options.

Steph is still busy finishing her coursework for this last semester and she and her friends are putting together a Relay-For-Life team again for this year's Relay in May. She's keeping busy and keeping her spirits up. I will be taking her to visit my family in Hawaii next week.
Please keep her in your prayers. Thanks!
Kathy

I am so frustrated. I have been praying and hoping for her to be healed so completely from this cancer. It is discouraging to pray so fervently for something and for it not to happen. It makes me upset because I believe God has the power to heal her and take this struggle away from Steph once and for all. But He didn't....at least not yet. She is going to have to fight this more. It is painful to watch her struggle with this. And in the midst of her struggle, she gives me hope because of her faith and courage. Steph really helped me when she told me that she finally started to pray again and that's when the chemo started to reduce the size of her cancer. But what now. How discouraging this would be to find out. She's only 15.

Lord, please heal Stephanie's cancer. Heal her completely. Heal her soon. Give her hope. Be near her and comfort her. Hear my prayer.

A family of shoes

2007-02-05T15:21:00.000-08:00

It reminds me of Goldilocks and the 3 bears...except instead of bowls of porridge or beds...it's Big Daddy shoes, Mama shoes, and teeny-weeny baby shoes. I know it's cheesy.

A change will do me good

2007-01-30T09:12:00.000-08:00

I turned 28 years old recently. And I have decided to have a 28 year old Resolution instead of the typical New Years one. You see, I never really put much thought into my New Years Resolution and because of that I just throw something out there as if I am going to change my life...but in reality, I just don't stick to them. But I have thought out something that I am going to begin doing now that I am 28 and growing up. Please keep in mind that this isn't a life changing committment...I made my life-changing committment many years ago and I really try to live every day as a changed person...like I said before this is a very superficial comittment that I am making to myself. Now that I am 28 years old I am going to wash my face and brush and floss my teeth every night before going to bed. I do also realize that most of you have been doing this since you were like 5 years old...but for me...this is new. For the past week I have been washing my face and brushing and flossing my teeth and I really like the new me and I am going to stick with it now. I feel really clean.

Update

2007-01-07T20:56:00.000-08:00

I said I would update you on how Steph is doing (see previous post). So far so good because she actually has her chemo postponed until this Thursday, January 11th, because her mom has been sick this week. Please continue to pray for her and then some more starting this Thursday and for the 5 days following it. Pray that this chemo is effective and that Steph's cancer will be gone and will never come back again...pray for complete and total healing.

Please pray for Steph

2007-01-03T10:44:00.000-08:00

Our friend Steph is 16 years old. She is fun to be around and is very likeable...if you ever get the chance to meet her you will discover how great she is! Steph is a part of our youth group and has been our friend for the past 3 years. Unlike most 16 year olds, Steph has been fighting cancer for the past year and a half. It all started when she was having leg cramps during track practice. They took her to the doctor thinking she might have a pulled muscle or something and discover that she has cancer in her leg and very small cancer spots on her lungs. She goes through a very strong chemo treatment and is in the clear. In fact, we held a party for her at church because she was in remission and she had made it through her chemo treatment and was cancer free!!! I wish that was the end of the story and we could say she went back to track practice and lived happily ever after, but only 3 months later does she go in for another scan to find the cancer rapidly growing all over her lungs. Then for months she tries a series of different chemo treatments and none of them are working...all the while the cancer is growing very quickly. During this time the cancer did not respond at all to her chemo treatments. Then something happened. There were lots of prayers lifted up for Steph at Faith Quest. And later I found out from Steph that she was losing hope...she felt like she might be dying...but she realized one day that she hadn't been praying. So she decided to start praying to God every day that He would help her. That's when she started a new chemo treatment. God was good and heard all of our prayers, and the chemo worked. Her cancer has now shrunk significantly. But it's not gone yet. It's not over yet. We have one last battle against this cancer. Tomorrow, January 4th, she starts her LAST treatment of this particular chemo...it's the LAST dose that she can get of the ONLY chemo treatment that has been defeating her cancer. I wanted to tell you this so that you will pray for Steph. She starts tomorrow January 4th and gets this chemo treatment for 5 days. Will you please pray every day for Steph? We really need God to kick this cancer in the butt once and for all. Please remember Steph. And I promise that when all is said and done that I will tell you the outcome as soon as I find out. Thank you for praying!

Here is Steph and her family at her Make a Wish trip...she got to meet the Grey's Anatomy cast and watch them film an episode!

The fun we had

2006-12-30T10:36:00.000-08:00

I think there are a lot of reasons why Christmas always ends up being a good time. The excitement and laughter of family getting together is part of it. And of course there is always a good old fashioned baby-tickling that can be fun. Watching your nephew dress up in his new Superman costume...
Or maybe it's the guys doing the dishes after Christmas dinner...

Family - together playing games, eating good food and enjoying eachother's company...

And it could be your baby sleeping from takeoff to landing that makes Christmas travel so perfect...

The sparkle and glow of the Christmas trees, cousins playing together, Family Feud and Phase 10 until late in the night, eating excellent food, it's all of these things and more that made Christmas so special this year. I hope that yours was filled to the brim with family and friends!

Technology

2006-12-14T20:35:00.000-08:00

So I was thinking the other day that when I first went to grade school, my friend's mom was the secretary and she did all of her work on a typewriter...I know this because we often played on it after school! By the time I was in 5th grade we had computers in our classroom and played the original Oregon Trail game. That was awesome! In 7th grade, we had a computer lab and that's when I learned how to type and make a basic excel worksheet. It wasn't until my Freshman year in college that I signed up for an email account. And I finally owned my very own computer after my Junior year of college. I say all this to say how quickly and how amazing technology progresses.

I can only imagine what technology will be like when my baby goes to school...power point presentations for show and tell and who knows what else.

Let it snow! Let it snow! Let it snow!

2006-12-05T14:19:00.000-08:00

There's just nothing quite like having snow. Every season is so beautiful for its uniqueness...spring flowers, summer sun, autumn leaves, and snow in the winter! We had snow over Thanksgiving and it was glorious! It gets quiet, things slow down and it takes you back to snow angel days! I love snow!

Thanksgiving

2006-11-21T14:30:00.000-08:00

I am thankful for...
Relationship with God
The best husband
Sweet son
Family
Friends
A loving church
Warm home
Refrigerator & cupboards full of food
Good health
The beautiful state of Washington
Starbucks coffee
Running car
Clothes
Target
Rain
Trees
Turkey & Cranberry sauce
Van Morrison's music
A good book
Washing machine
Dishwasher
Fresh baked cookies

I sometimes forget what I am thankful for. This was a good reminder for me to sit down and think of specific things God blesses me with. What are you thankful for today?

A typical day in the life of me...

2006-10-26T15:47:00.000-07:00

Every day, many times each day, my son gets his little counting colors music train out and hooks it up. Here is how the full volume song goes (minus the catchy little music):

The music train is on the track
Singing a song
Clickety clack
The music train is ready to go
Get on board hear the whistle blow
Red car with one teddy bear
1! We're having fun! (grrrrr)
Orange car with 2 shiny bells
1 2! They ring for you! (ding ding)
Yellow car with 3 fuzzy ducks
1 2 3! Quack for me (quack, quack, quack)
Green Car with 4 little drums
1 2 3 4! Play some more (drum sound)
Blue Car with 5 square blocks
1 2 3 4 5! At the station willow ride
The music train is ready to go
Get on board hear the whistle blow!

I go around singing this song when I am in the shower, driving in the car, while cooking in the kitchen. I can not stop singing it! I am guessing some of you out there have a similar toy story. I'd like to hear about it...

Superbaby

2006-10-20T11:07:00.000-07:00

Should you find yourself in dangers way, call superbaby to save the day. I realize he only has his little scooter to rescue you, but never underestimate the speed of him on his machine! He can pull books off shelves in a flash and stir toilet water in the blink of an eye!

He's Back...

2006-10-19T17:03:00.000-07:00

After many many months (okay, so it was over a year) of writer's block, my husband has decided to resurrect his original blog! If you would like to check it out: http://jjeb.blogspot.com/ He has been writing some interesting spiritual thoughts. I also want to say that I would have loved to insert a little link there, but I don't know how to do that...so if you want to tell me how, I thank you. -Priscilla

I sold it on ebay!

2006-10-06T21:16:00.000-07:00

So one of Jeb and my favorite hobbies is to sell things on Ebay and Craigslist. We go to garage sales and scout things out to buy that we can turn around and sell for a little extra cash. We have also sold so many random little do-dads that have just sat in boxes in our closet for years. It amazes me sometimes that people actually want this stuff...but I am also very pleased and it tickles my funny bone when we do sell some useless piece of junk. It also makes me feel good to get rid of all of the material items that seem to clutter our house and our life.

We made 5x what we paid for this lovely poster of a man called horse...it's crazy that people actually want this!

However, in the midst of this fun little hobby, people have grow to think that we are so money-hungry that we will sell anything ever given to us just for some quick cash. That just is not true. We keep things that mean a lot to us or things that are valuable or that are important to the family or that were given to us by special people. We only sell useless, unwanted items. Trust me...and you should try it to, because it is fun to make a small profit off of the stuff that you would otherwise be donating to Goodwill!

We doubled our money on this italian tea cart repro!

Family Ties

2006-10-04T10:27:00.000-07:00

So there has been some big family news. This has been all excitement for Jeb and I! Rachel and Stephen are now engaged! He surprised her at her birthday party and popped the question in front of all of us! They are planning a wedding for some time in July!
My brother Jason and his wife Jen are pregnant and Liam will have another cousin to play with sometime in March! This isn't the greatest pic of them, but it was the most recent, from just a few weeks ago at the Mariners-A's game...the Mariner's were down 3-9, but came back in the 7th inning (after we left to go home) to win 10-9. I can not believe that we left early at probably one of the Mariner's best comebacks in the past few years! Oh well....